waiting by the phone

yesterday i started reading three cups of tea by greg mortenson and david oliver renin. it's the story of a climber who got lost in the mountains after a failed attempt to climb pakistan's K2, the second highest peak in the world.

the short version of the story is this: after wandering for days he found himself in a small village and while he was there discovered his life's calling: building schools in these remote, impoverished locations. but not just schools. schools for girls.

so what does that have to do with gardening you may ask. in my life, a lot. greg mortenson found an incredible gift when he came down that mountain. not without cost, but it was a cost he and many others are willing to pay: give yourself to help save the world. and all i kept thinking as i read those words was that i wanted that to be me. not out in pakistan building schools, but making that kind of difference.

for me, i know that calling has at its epicenter growing food, but beyond that, it's a blur of too many options. i have the drive and the will and the desire but the path is still obscured. it's as though i'm sitting at home dressed for a party waiting for someone to call and tell me where to go.

there are in the world many people who rely on force of will and conscious decision-making to determine their direction and cut the trail themselves. there are others to whom a path is revealed and they then spend their energy following it. i have been trying to do the former, to no avail. these days, i pray for the latter. for some higher power to point me in the right direction, because once i know where i'm going, i have no question that i can overcome any obstacle to get there.